UND NUN:
Guten Morgen, verehrtes Publikum!
Es ist 19 Uhr dreiundsiebzig und ich wünsche Ihnen einen wunderschönen Abend.
Hier sind die Nachrichten mit der Ihnen völlig ergebenen Frau S. (die 2.).
Wie Sie vielleicht von Ihren Nachbarn gehört haben, ereignen sich in unserer Umwelt einige seltsame Dinge. Das Abwasserministerium rät dazu, im Haus zu bleiben und zu versuchen, sich im Gefrierfach einzufrieren, bis sich die Lage wieder verbessert hat.
Hunde sollten an der Leine gehalten werden, die Tische sollten umgeklappt werden und…schnallen Sie sich bitte an.
Falls Sie in der letzten halben Stunde im McDonald’s waren, kann ich Sie beruhigen:
Sie werden in Kürze automatisch sterben.
Seltsamerweise könnten Raucher überleben.
Nun gut…eben erhalte ich die „breaking news“, die ich noch schnell los werden muss, bevor ich mein Kind bekomme.
Wie ich soeben erfahren habe, schweben in der Luft Geldscheine herum.
Auf keinen Fall berühren!, rät das Finanzamt und ist bereit, uns von der Gefahr zu befreien.
Desweiteren tun sich in der Erde Spalten auf, aus denen heiße Lava fließt. Bitte vermeiden Sie den Umgang mit diesen Dingern.
Das könnte nämlich Ihre Frisur ruinieren!
Sollte irgendjemand an Ihrer Haustüre klopfen, fragen Sie zuerst:
„Wer ist da?“
Die Antwort „der Weihnachtsmann, ho-ho-ho“ lässt auf alle Fälle einen seriösen Menschen vermuten, der ganz bestimmt nicht Ihr Haus ausrauben will.
Hier noch eine wichtige *chrrr* Meldung *chrmmmrm* der Verkehrswacht: *chrr* werden gebeten *chhhrrr* SOFOR*chrrrr* nach Haus*chr* zu fahren.
Das Haus in der *..chrrr…*strasse *chr* steht nämlich in Flammen…*chr*
Wie Sie vielleicht bemerkt haben, verschlechtert sich der Empfang umso mehr, je unintelligenter unsere Nachrichten werden.
Ich wünsche Ihnen nun eine gute Nacht.
Falls Sie in nächster Zeit von frei herumlaufenden Werwölfen gebissen werden, freuen Sie sich! Dann müssen Sie nie wieder Geschirr benutzen, wenn Sie essen wollen. Das spart Wasser und schont die Umwelt!
Also dann, viel Erfolg und gutes Überleben, wünscht Ihnen Frau S.!
Ps:
Nun der Song „Monster“ von Radiopilot. Viel Vergnügen!
17 Kommentare:
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